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Deep Self Investigation

Discovering your true nature as awareness

Deprogramming The Character

While past practice related to DSI can impact how real your experience of your self in the world seems, it’s typical that we have never really had a rigorous and consistent investigation into the appearance of a separate self.    So virtually all of your understanding about life is based on the core belief in “me”, an entity that in truth does not exist.  Your character’s conditioning is much like the programming in a computer.   Mental functions process information in relation to your identity as a separate self, and yet in reality there is no separate self.  So how accurate or helpful can any of that information be?  The programming must be rewritten to reflect the truth of existence more accurately, removing the screens that block awareness of how things actually are, and the possibilities of knowing reality as it is.  Knowing your actual nature as awareness.

DSI serves to isolate the beliefs in a separate self within the context of many different life situations.  The conditioned beliefs unique to each situation present variations on how “you” appear to exist in those situations, and also how to “value” and where to put emphasis on each situation.  For example, let’s say you are talking with someone and the conversation becomes heated.  They begin to get angry with something you are saying.   They say things that are offensive, critical, or judgmental about you.   If this feels like it is directed at you personally, the tendency of the typically identified character will be to react defensively to some degree, and perhaps to even begin a verbal offensive move.  However imagine the same scenario where there is not self referencing going on due to prior self investigation, but more a sense of selfless recognition of the whole scenario.  How might the interaction change?   

Seeing clearly that there is no self in one situation does not guarantee you will recognize this in the next one. Deep self investigation is something you must do again and again, remembering to look for the self in each new situation that arises, at different times during the day and on different days throughout the week.   On the other hand, while you may need to see again the truth of “no self”, there is carryover and the cumulative effect.   The carryover effect has to do with seeing similarities in each new situation and more quickly recognizing the conditioned assumption about a “you”.   The cumulative effect has to do with the fact that over time with serious practice, the finite amount of self related conditioning is rewritten and becomes less and less present in your experience.   

The process of exploring yourself using DSI could take several years, but my experience with the technique suggests awakening to your true nature as awareness will be the end result.  This means however several years of very serious integration of this exploration into your daily life.   The bottom line is, you are either rewriting your conditioning around “you”, dissolving the sense of self, or reinforcing it by continuing to reference life to an imaginary "you".

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